Dealing with Behavioral Problems
.....God's Way

Welcome to
"Dealing with Behavioral Problems.....God's Way"
We have a 16 year old son who has always had behavioral problems. He never outgrew the "terrible twos". The older he got, the worse the problems were. By the age of 5 years old, he was diagnosed with ADHD. He was put on Ritalin, which did help alittle. By the age of 6 years old, they also said he had Oppositonal Defiant Disorder. We spent years going to therapy, family counseling, individual counseling, etc. As the years went on, Ritalin was not working, so we went on to other medications...Dexadrine, Risperdal, Paxil, etc. All of which really never did do alot. I mean it did help some, but not alot. At the age of 12 years old, we had to put him into a foster home for 30 days because his behavior was so terribly out of control. He was violent, rebellious, destructive, etc...we simply could not handle him. Being in the foster home helped some. When it was time for him to enter 7th grade, he ended up having to attend an alternate schooling due to his behavior. He attended "Day Treatment" schooling...for one and ahalf years. At the age of 13 they did some more testings on him. They then diagnosed him with a mild form of Autism.
He is violent, destructive, demanding, very very rebellious, he has no respect for other people or other people's property...or feelings. It's almost like he doesn't realize that other people have feelings. His behavior out in public is horrible. The things he does are just so senseless and stupid. He ruins everything that we do. He ruins things for everyone. Alot of people just do not want to be around him. Life to our son revolves around him, and him only.
(I could go on and on here, but I think you "get the drift".)
Our son is in 10th grade now, and he is now on Dexadrine (but not as much as he used to get, I just give him one dose in the morning. That is all he gets for the day.)

I'm a Christian, I have been for well over 20 years...but you certainly wouldn't know it by my own "behavior". The way I acted (still do at times), words I said (still say at times), feelings I had (still have at times), etc...I was/am anything but Christian. I'm ashamed to say how I behave! I lost my temper ALL the time, I swore (I would be using every horrible foul word imaginable), I would have to fight myself back from displaying my own violence toward him, I had horrible thoughts about my son, wanted horrible things to happen to him. I didn't want him anymore, did not want to deal with it anymore...I told myself that I couldn't. I simply could not go on living like this any longer. I've dealt with this behavior for 15 years, that is enough. (I still struggle with with feelings and behaviors from time to time.) I do not have what it takes to deal with this. I simply wanted him out of my life.
I spent years pleading with God to change my son, change my situation, intervene, deliver me from all this. I was very mad at my son, mad at my husband, mad at myself, mad at life. I was mad at God. Mad that He gave me a son like this. I would lose my temper constantly, asking Him if He was enjoying this, etc.
I also want to say that during the last few years, my relationship with the Lord has been "slipping away".
I had a wonderful relationship with my Lord. He was the center of my life. Everything evolved around Him.
But........ I was slipping away from Him. I gradually (not all at once, but gradually) found myself not communicating with Him, not reading His Word, not spending time with Him. Not doing any of it. It got so that I was living my own life, without Him. (This too is something that I still have to work on.)
I would go to church on Sundays, basically because of my husband...but that was it.
From time to time, I would "try" to pray, but it didn't mean much to me. I would also try reading the Bible, but that was "dead" to me. I would open it up and try reading, and absolutely none of it had any meaning what so ever to me.
NOTE: None of this should have happened because I have been through this before. Several years ago - here is my testimony: Jesus is my Lord
I have read "Victory Over The Darkness" and "The Bondage Breaker" by Neil T. Anderson. I went through his "Freedom In Christ" seminar back in 1993 (it was a seven day seminar), and I went through the "Steps to Freedom in Christ". So....I "knew" what satan can do...but satan is very cunning, very very deceptive. And, I have to be honest here...due to my own laziness, passiveness, etc....I let it happen. I did not apply what I knew, I made the wrong choices, I did not have my mind filled with right thoughts/God's Word. (You can be set free from strongholds/bondages.....but satan goes and wanders in dry places for a season. When he returns to his old home and finds it empty, the Bible says in Luke 11:24-26 that he comes back, brings others with him and the person's last condition is worse than his first.
Well, I was out doing some shopping...came upon a Christian bookstore. I saw this book..... I looked it over alittle and put it back on the shelf. I roamed around the store for awhile, went back and looked it over alittle bit more again and again put it back on the shelf, and left the store.
Well, for some reason I could not stop thinking about that book. I ended up going back there and buying it.

What follows now will be taken from the:
&
I will be using Scripture Verses, and several comments from the book Battlefield of the Mind. I will of course only be taking small portions from the book, just to give you examples. I recommend purchasing this book for yourself if you are going through problems (any kind of problems/strongholds/bondage. Bondage defintely affects our behavior!)

Proverbs 23:7
For as he thinks in his heart, so is he....
Galatians 6:9
And let us not lose heart and grow weary and faint in acting nobly and doing right, for in due time and at the appointed season we shall reap, if we do not loosen and relax our courage and faint.
John 8:31,32
If you abide in My Word, you are truly My disciples. You will know the Truth, and the Truth will set you free.
The devil is a liar. In John 8:44, Jesus calls him....the father of lies and of all that is false.
from book:
The mind is the battlefield. It is a vital necessity that we line up our thoughts with God's thoughts. This is a process that will take time and study.
from book:
Our warfare is not with other human beings but with the devil and his demons. Our enemy, satan, attempts to defeat us with strategy and deceit, through well-laid plans and deliberate deception.
He begins by bombarding our mind with a cleverly devised pattern of little nagging thoughts, suspicions, doubts, fears, wonderings, reasonings and theories. He moves slowly and cautiously. Remember, he has a strategy for his warfare. He has studied us for a long time.
He knows what we like and what we don't like. He knows our insecurities, our weaknesses and our fears. He knows what bothers us most. He is willing to invest any amount of time it takes to defeat us. One of the devil's strong points is patience.
from book:
Use the weapons of 2 Corinthians 10:4,5 to tear down strongholds and every high and lofty thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God.
These "weapons" are the Word of God, Prayer, and Praise.
from book:
Thoughts bear fruit. Think good thoughts, and the fruit in your life will be good. Think bad thoughts, and the fruit in your life will be bad.
from book:
The way God helps us make spiritual progress is by being with us to strengthen and encourage us to "keep on keeping on" in rough times.
It's easy to quit, it takes faith to go through.
from book:
Don't receive condemnation when you have setbacks. Just get back up, dust yourself off and start again.
Romans 8:1
Therefore, there is no comdemnation...for those who are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the dictates of the flesh, but after the dictates of the Spirit.
from book:
I encourage you to pray in Jesus' name. By the power of His Blood, come against "mind-binding spirits".
from book:
Think about what you are thinking about.
from book:
You need to begin disciplining your mind. Don't let it run all over town, doing whatever it pleases. Begin today to "keep your foot", to keep your mind on what you're doing. You will need to practice for a while. Breaking old habits and forming new ones always takes time, but it is worth it in the end.
James 1:22
But be doers of the Word, and not merely listeners to it, betraying yourselves.
from book:
Any time we see what the Word says and refuse to do it, reasoning has somehow gotten involved and deceived us into believing something other than the truth.
If we know something is right, we must not allow reasoning to talk us out of doing it.
Hosea 4:6
My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge....
from book:
Passivity is the opposite of activity. I describe passivity as a lack of feeling, a lack of desire, general apathy, luke-warmness and laziness. There are wrong things that we do, and there are right things that we don't do. When a believer is inactive in any area in which he has capability or talent, that particular area begins to atrophy or become immobilized. The longer he does nothing, the less he wants to do anything. A passive person may want to do the right thing, but he never will do so unless he purposely activates his mind and lines it up with God's Word and Will.
from book:
Let's say that you have a child who has some behavior problems and definitely needs to change. You may pray for him and ask God to work in his life, making whatever changes are necessary. Now, what do you do with your thoughts and words concerning him during the waiting period? Many people never see the answer to their prayers because they negate what they have asked for with their own thoughts and words before God ever gets a chance to work in their behalf. Do you pray for your child to change and then entertain all kinds of negative thoughts about him? Or, perhaps pray for change and then think and even say to others, "this kid will never change!" To live in victory, you must begin by lining up your thoughts with God's Word.
We are not walking in the Word if our thoughts are opposite of what it says. We are not walking in the Word if we are not thinking in the Word.
When you pray for someone, line up your thoughts and words with what you have prayed and you will begin to see a breakthrough.



Website made August 13th 2002 by

email:
jdreed@astound.net

It is my hope that this website will be of help to you. If you have any kind of behavioral problems that you are dealing with in your life (or someone you know.) Remember, any kind of strongholds/bondage you are in affects your behavior.
Don't give up, don't lose hope.
Keep on keeping on! Keep doing it over and over....it is going to take time.
You'll experience bad days, but don't let it discourage you.
I still have many bad days, but I am keeping on.


Feb. 2004
About a year ago, our Pastor at that time came over and talked and prayed with our son. Our son asked the Lord into his heart...but we wonder if he really meant it, because he did not change at all. He wouldn't read the Bible at all, he wouldn't pray at all, etc. We saw no difference in him...he was and still is the same person.
(we no longer attend that church, the church closed down. We now attend a different church.)
Our son is very rebellious towards the Lord, praying, reading the Bible, etc.
He does come to church with us on and off now...but he claims he only comes because "he does not want to be home alone." He always brings his GameBoy along and plays it the whole time he is there. But...we do notice that even though he acts like he is not listening, or that he couldn't care less what is going on....we can tell that he is listening, he does care. He looks up every once in awhile, sometimes even wipes away tears.

I love watching the Lord work!




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